BUT WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF THE ALBUM?
In an interview for one of those VH1 specials about one-hit wonders, Edwyn Collins said something of the effect of “You wouldn’t go up to Lou Reed and ask him how it feels to be a one-hit wonder.” And I thought, “Man, what a pretentious ass to be comparing himself to Lou Reed.”
But it kind of makes sense. He was in a critically acclaimed but commercially overlooked band (Orange Juice) before scoring a sole solo hit out of left field. But the more I think about it, the more I return to my original opinion that he’s a pretentious ass.
Even if you’ve never heard a Velvet Underground song, you still know who the fuck they are. The only reason I know anything about Orange Juice is because their song “Rip It Up” inspired the title for Rip It Up And Start Again, an essential tome on the history of postpunk.
Did I use tome correctly?
According to Wikipedia, “Rip It Up” actually was a Top 40 hit in the UK. So I guess Collins is a bit of a double one-hit wonder.
The first track is titled “The Campaign For Real Rock,” which, ironically, doesn’t rock. Much like Billy Joel’s “Still Rock And Roll To Me.” That said, it’s not a bad song. It’s kind of like if Urge Overkill decided to actually be Neil Diamond rather than just cover him.
One of the biggest pains in writing this blog is that with these one-hit wonders, most of their songs sound just like their hit. But Edwyn Collins stretches out in a playfully diverse style. Neil Diamond is a lot more playfully diverse than you give him credit for. Yeah, I’ve decided Edwyn Collins is just Neil Diamond re-incarnated. Even though Ol’ Neil isn’t dead yet.
“If You Could Love Me” gives me some Tom Jones-style chills. Okay, maybe Collins was actually created in a lab, spliced from the DNA of Diamond and Jones. What I’m saying is this guy is probably getting laid a lot. Hell, my panties have already dropped and I wasn’t wearing any.
He definitely wins lyric of the year (for 1994, anyhow) with this gem from “North Of Heaven”: “Some mother’s talking about Guns N’ Roses / As if I give a fuck / At best, I think they suck.” Give the man an award. Can we go back in time and retroactively make this song a hit?
I’m not sure if Collins is ironic or sincere, but either way, he’d make a fine Vegas lounge act. And I’m not being ironic when I say I mean it as a compliment. Bring down your lady friend, have some drinks and do the Shasta McNasty when you get back to the hotel.
If Edwyn Collins ever reads this review, he’ll probably hate me. Granted, he’s got more of a David Bowie influence, and “Moron” (featuring the awesome chorus: “This music won’t take you higher unless you’re a moron”) is reminiscent of The Rolling Stones’ country phase. But I still maintain he’s the Second Coming of Neil Diamond.
FINAL VERDICT: Buy this album. It’s awesome. And Collins should take Neil Diamond onto Maury to see if he is the father.
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