DISHWALLA

WHAT YOU KNOW THEM FOR: Blasphemy.



Also, inspiring homophobia.




BUT WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF THE ALBUM?

Back in the 90s, suggesting that God was a female was some heavy stuff. Christians were outraged and demanded a boycott of Dishwalla, and some of them even stood outside Dishwalla concerts with torches and pitchforks. Okay, none of that happened, but those couple of lines seemed to get more attention than the music. But in all fairness, the music was that type of bland pretty boy pop that got swept under the “alternative” label because they had guitars.

And boy, were they pretty. Almost Duran Duran pretty. In fact, I think Anal Cunt might be onto something. I feel myself going gay for Dishwalla (although it’s been proven to be a scientific impossibility that anyone could go gay for Everclear).

Rewatching the video, I think the drummer now works at the American Eagle at the Boulevard Mall. I should ask him the next time I’m at the mall. “Excuse me, weren’t you the drummer from Dishwalla?” Actually, I might just start asking that of random people at the mall.

Honestly, this music is so non-descript, I’m not sure if I like it or not. So far, I don’t love it, I doubt I’ll ever listen to this album again. But I also don’t hate it yet, I’m definitely not running to turn it off. I’m not even all that bored. It’s just kind of there.

By the time we reach the hit three tracks in, I sense a pattern. Laid back grooves with near-catatonic vocals save for shorts bursts of actual energy towards the end of the song. There doesn’t seem to be much effort in attempting to craft something memorable. Really, I think the only reason I even remember “Counting Blue Cars” is because it used to get played every hour, on the hour.

Of course, I write that, then the next track “Explode” actually attempts to rock (and mostly succeeds). I remember that at the time, I thought Dishwalla’s follow-up single “Charlie Brown’s Parents” was better than “Counting Blue Cars,” and that still remains the case.

And then we’re back to the not rocking wah-wah guitars. I don’t know if I’ve ever heard a band abuse the wah-wah pedal as much as these guys. Then back to rocking then back to not then back again. Are these guys a good band or not? They somehow simultaneously rock and suck. Which I guess makes their music sort of complicated, except it’s really just kind of simple. Man, I am so existentially freaking out right now.


FUN/NOT FUN FACT: “Miss Emma Peel” is about one of the main characters of the old British TV show The Avengers. Dishwalla was actually featured on the soundtrack to the movie adaptation, but not with that song. I never saw the movie, despite the promise of Uma Thurman in a skin-tight leather catsuit. But I had the issue of Playboy that featured paparazzi photos of Uma on a topless beach. This issue greatly angered Nicholas Cage, who wrote a very stern letter to the magazine.


FINAL VERDICT: Don’t worry about what those bullies in Anal Cunt think. Listening to Dishwalla will not make you gay. It will, however, enter you into a state of limbo where things neither are nor aren’t.